Chicken Heads
Posted by Deutlich on January 28th, 2010 | Filed under: UncategorizedI’d like to issue a blanket statement to all the dumb broads fawning over my brother.
1. Just because you fucked him, does not mean that you and I will become friends. For that matter, just because we met once does not mean I want anything else to do with you.
2. Just because you and I are both chicks, does not mean I will abide by some “girl code” and put in a good word in for you. Frankly, the man comes to the East coast for one week a year and you seem to have deluded yourself into thinking that sex=relationship.
3. You’re an idiot.
4. Tagging me in some cockamamie bullshit on Facebook will only make me want to punch you in the ovary.
Example:
5. Refrain from asking me personal questions about his tastes, likes, dislikes, ways of thought, ways of acting…or ANYthing about him. If he doesn’t want to tell you, why the hell would I?
6. I repeat: do not, do not, do not, DO NOT ask me to talk to my brother on your behalf. Fuck you and that stupid high horse you rode in on.
7. Don’t dawdle. I don’t want to see your face the next morning. Frankly, I may puke on it from you making my poor ears BLEED the night before. Learn to be quiet, K? Or, I don’t know, GET A FUCKING ROOM SOMEWHERE ELSE.
8. Don’t piss me off. Blood is thicker than water and he won’t take too kindly to that.
Better yet, I’ll just let him do the “talkin’” for me.
…’nuff said.
January 28th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
This is exactly what my newly-single brother has to look forward from me.
January 28th, 2010 at 1:31 pm
Ugh, I feel this way about my (younger!) brother’s girlfriends too! I don’t live with him and it’s decreased recently, but good grief! If anything, fucking my brother makes it LESS likely we will be friends.
January 28th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
I think the real question lying in this post is….which one were you tagged as?
January 28th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Wow. It never occurred to me to try to get to a guy through his sister. How annoying!
January 28th, 2010 at 2:34 pm
hilarious.
January 28th, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Damn. That is above and beyond sisterly duties.
You should just hit the Share button when they tag you. Share it with your brother and add, “that girl you slept with is cyberstalking me.”
January 28th, 2010 at 3:04 pm
This is why I’m so glad 1)I don’t live with my brother anymore and 2) He’s 7 years younger than me and younger chicks fear me.
January 28th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
Oh hey there, handsome brother!
January 28th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
Good Lord, your brother is HOT.
Would you mind putting in a good word for me?
Seriously, though. I would be pissed if girls came up to me with this bullshit to get to my brothers.
January 28th, 2010 at 3:42 pm
That women think buddying up to a guy’s sister is going to get them “in” is a tad disturbing. Sure, be nice to his sister but no cyberstalking, no asking personal questions…ewwww… creepy!
January 28th, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Is your brother by any chance coming to the East Coast once a year from Germany?
Okay, I’m kidding (or am I?), thankfully no girl ever tried that with me, though it certainly helps that I live 200mi away from my brother (and I am the one who moved away, not he).
January 28th, 2010 at 4:52 pm
Ugh. That is all.
January 28th, 2010 at 7:40 pm
haha luckily my brothers are both way younger than me so i don’t have to worry about this just yet, but i can only imagine.
January 28th, 2010 at 9:21 pm
OMG YOUR BRO IS SO HAWT, WILL YOU HOOK ME UPPPP?
(I know, I’m creative.)
January 28th, 2010 at 10:21 pm
Thank god my brother married the first girl he dated because I didn’t have to worry about all of that. Oh and don’t expect me to break our sibling code for you either bitch.
January 29th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
HAHA, great PSA here.
January 30th, 2010 at 1:51 am
You know I’m gonna tag you in like a billion of those things things on facebook now, right?
January 31st, 2010 at 8:20 pm
“Missed Muchly?”
Wtf.
February 1st, 2010 at 4:14 pm
I feel the same way…all the hoe’s that my brother got with always tried to pull that shit on me until i told them to back the f* off! They never bothered me again. Oh, yeah, I also kicked them out of my house, no hoe’s allowed policy!
February 5th, 2010 at 12:24 pm
“Oh, yeah, I also kicked them out of my house, no hoe’s allowed policy!”
LOL! Violet you are awesome! My brother once had a complete hoe of a girlfriend. I made sure she did NOT feel welcome at our house.
Thankfully, he’s dating someone MUCH better now and hopefully they will stay together for a long time!
February 5th, 2010 at 12:35 pm
Hahahahahahahahahaha!
That is all.
February 9th, 2010 at 8:34 pm
I’m an older brother. If any guys I know tried to pull this with my sister, they know pain would soon follow.
February 10th, 2010 at 12:05 am
Your brother is cute. I mean that is a nice, non-irritating way.
Thankfully my brother is 9 years younger than I am, and is more into sports than dating right now. If girls were bugging me about him, I’d hate it.
February 19th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
None of my brothers’ girlfriends ever asked me anything like that…now I’m wondering why…they probably warned them that I’m such a bitch they’d better stay clear of me.
Or maybe it was the knife I had in my pocket…