Beef
Posted by Deutlich on March 25th, 2009 | Filed under: UncategorizedI’d really like to know what in the Sam Hill possessed some broad to go to the gym doused in perfume. First of all, the point of a treadmill is to move your jiggly bits until they become less jiggly. This requires sweating. And unless sex is involved, there’s just nothing cute about it.
So please get over it.
Attempting to mask it with some sickly sweet smell drives the runner next to you up a fucking wall. While she’s gasping for air in a vain attempt to keep her lungs from exploding, all she can do is gag.
This does not equate to a Good Time.
I would also like to know what made the old fart to the right of me think it was a good idea to hop on the treadmill with a fucking cup of coffee.
COFFEE! On a TREADMILL!
Nevermind that he was going .000005 miles per hour on that contraption. But how in the fuck did he think he was doing something good to his body by adding a dehydrant? While he was sweating!
I’m just glad this happened on two different days. I may have become homicidal otherwise.
The best part of this morning’s sweat session? Overhearing the old fart talk to a man about his calorie intake and wishing he weighed less.
You, dear sir, are the winner of today’s Too Stupid for Words award.
March 25th, 2009 at 7:35 am
Seen any in high heels yet?
Oh dear god no. Thankfully.
March 25th, 2009 at 7:35 am
Reading this made me want to cancel my gym membership. Then I remembered that I go to the Ghetto Gym, where patrons are more likely to drink Nelly’s “Pimp Juice” and the blood of their enemies than coffee.
We’re all good.
Just the thought of Pimp Juice makes me cringe in horror
March 25th, 2009 at 7:36 am
Oh good grief. Was it HOT coffee? How can one even stomach that?
So hot I could damn near taste it myself. Grossed me right the fuck out.
March 25th, 2009 at 7:36 am
I love people watching in the gym! We have one that looks a little bit like a human troll doll. Full face, down to the fake lashes, hair teased and standing straight and tall in a high pony. Puts the treadmill on such a steep incline that she can’t stand up straight, but rather leans backwards as she clings on to it for dear life. Something about this posture also makes her head bobble on her neck so she looks like a bobble-head troll doll.
I love her so much.
I want one! Send one to my gym! Please!
March 25th, 2009 at 7:36 am
If I had a dollar for every time I heard/saw something ridiculous or stupid like that at the gym, I really wouldn’t need to work.
One guy used to run with his bluetooth in – AND TAKE CALLS. God forbid he be disconnected for 40 minutes.
The world might explode in 40 minutes! I mean, that’s obviously why he’s always plugged in..
March 25th, 2009 at 7:41 am
weird, this is the second blog i’ve read recently about a man on a treadmill at the gym having a hot beverage. the other one was drinking tea and eating cookies so at least your gym hasn’t turned into a picnic area yet.
(keyword – yet)
tea and cookies?!?! dear god.
March 25th, 2009 at 7:41 am
I applaud these people for going to the gym at all! I simply can’t find the motivation to do so.
If they could keep all things that are incredibly fragrant to themselves, it would be immensely appreciated though.
March 25th, 2009 at 7:43 am
One time I went for a jog with a can of red bull.
I’m sure that doesn’t surprise you.
Nope. Not even the least bit surprised.
March 25th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Hahaha! Guy with the coffee? Priceless! I think he should have also had a donut.
March 25th, 2009 at 8:03 am
I’ve seen people bring coffee on the treadmill, it’s idiotic. But so is walking while you’re on it.
March 25th, 2009 at 8:18 am
I stopped going to the gym early in the morning, just because of the stinky old guy factor. The gas emitted by the elite old boys was too much for me.
March 25th, 2009 at 8:50 am
In college, I had a friend and we would always text each other the FYOTD- Fuck You of the Day. I say we start this up again.
My FYOTD goes out to my coworker who waited until 11:50 to tell me that she needed to go to lunch at noon today instead of her scheduled 1pm, so I have to wait til 1 to eat even though I skipped breakfast. Slut.
March 25th, 2009 at 8:57 am
Strong perfume makes me gag. People who wear it to the gym need to be bitch-slapped.
March 25th, 2009 at 9:17 am
Too funny. Coffee to one side and then a bottle of perfume with legs to the next. Well, at least the gym can be highly entertaining!
March 25th, 2009 at 11:27 am
My favorite move is the “wait and see;” as in, someone who waits to see if anyone else is looking at how awesomely he’s working out before actually doing anything. This wait can last for minutes.
March 25th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
what? the gym isn’t the place for picking up dudes / chicks?
it seems that half the people at the gym are there to decrease the jiggly and the other half are trying to find a new “workout partner”
March 25th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
My gym is fairly small and ghetto, so I luckily see very little of that nonsense. There is one delightful woman who does the stair climber (the one that looks like actual stairs, you know?) backwards while rocking out to her iPod. She’s got super long stringy bleached hair, an enormous colorful calf tattoo, and like sings/dances along while doing the stair climber backwards. She’s hard to ignore.
March 25th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
IDK, the perfume sounds a lot better than the middle eastern woman who refused to take any bike other than the one directly next to me every single day I went to the gym. And of course, she stunk like B.O. before she even started working out.
March 25th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Because many people don’t get that coffee (and other caffeinated drinks) dehydrate you. It makes me sad to realize that I know the process. Damn college bio.
This actually rates up there with the 21 year-old woman who called the paramedics because she was having a “seizure”. Said seizure turned out to be an orgasm. I can’t make up shit that good.
March 25th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
coffee, ugh. ive seen people splash it all over themselves in an attempt to gulp it down mid-run. and let’s not forget the lady with the hair past her ass that gets caught in the weight machines and requires two people to cut her out of it.
March 25th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Even If They Do Match My Tits
Victoria Beckham, on joining a gym: What do you wear on the running machine? I can’t bring myself to wear flat shoes.
Shout-out: perezhilton.com
March 25th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
Ah ha! Justification for not renewing my gym membership. Many thanks
March 25th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Hahahha what’s that old guy had in mind anyway?
March 26th, 2009 at 4:53 am
besides the fact that it’s idiotic and it could spill on you, how in the hell is coffee REFRESHING? while you’re WORKING OUT?
March 26th, 2009 at 5:37 am
HA! the look and see, that’s awesome. there’s a lot of that at my tysons gym. that and women who wear a full face of makeup and long hair, just.. down. instead of in a ponytail. because OMG, that wouldn’t look CUTE!
March 26th, 2009 at 6:09 am
One might argue that even when sex is involved, the jiggling is still not cute.
March 26th, 2009 at 6:10 am
And the sweat isn’t cute either.
March 26th, 2009 at 6:16 am
I’ve been on a treadmill with a 40 before.
March 26th, 2009 at 7:27 am
The gym I (used to) go to is overpopulated with girls who think that they’re too pretty for their own good. It made working out miserable. If they weren’t potpourring up the gym with their perfumes, they were having asinine conversations about who knows what…
I’ve since left and decided that its better for my sanity to workout in my backyard. If Kimbo Slice and LT can do it, why not me?
March 26th, 2009 at 8:29 am
i hate overzealous perfume wearers. we don’t shame them properly in our society. we should. you and i can start.
March 26th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Oh my! You see that is exactly why I have not joined a gym yet! *giggle*
Hope you have better luck the next time you go.
Stay away from perfume girl. I almost gagged reading about her.
March 26th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Reason #694 why gyms suck.
Get thee to a trail! The people are less annoying and probably aren’t wearing perfume. If they are, the smell has somewhere to blow.
I’d walk through 30 storms in the woods before I’d take a step on a treadmill.
I get sick just thinking about the smell of perfume at a gym!
March 26th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
i used to have a stationery bike at home, and i tried to ride for about an hour 5 nights a week after work. one night i was super stressed, but didn’t want to miss my work out. so, i figured i’d kill 2 birds with one stone, and i put a corona with lime in my cupholder and got to work out while getting a buzz.
March 26th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
I hate when people try to talk to me while I am CLEARLY hooked up to my iPod. I can’t hear them, and what’s more I don’t want to. It’s so annoying when they keep gesturing and I finally have to yank out my earphones and respond – while panting and sweating. GO AWAY.
March 27th, 2009 at 4:37 am
Coffee – how are they even getting a work out?
March 27th, 2009 at 6:42 am
Pretty much everyone annoys me in the gym. I love when people get on the bike and half assed pedal while gabbing on the phone. How can you talk on the phone and think that is a workout?
coffee on the treadmill? ridiculous!
No one annoys me as much as the people who drop weights! BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrr
March 27th, 2009 at 7:29 am
UGH! Don’t even get me started on the characters at the gym. Although I’ve definitely never seen anyone with coffee on a treadmill, wow.
March 27th, 2009 at 9:12 am
Coffee on a treadmill?
That even beats the girl who sat on MY ab machine (it was mine. It was part of a circuit, and she just moseyed on over to it when it was next in line for me on the damn circuit), did reps for 10-15 minutes (um, if you can do them that long, they are too easy) and talked on the phone. Ugh.
March 28th, 2009 at 11:18 pm
Too much perfume is never good anyway, least of all at the gym. I’m surprise she didn’t asphyxiate herself as it was.
March 30th, 2009 at 6:26 am
Can I just add that the dude with the coffee had better watch out, because we all know what coffee does to one’s innards…
As for Perfume Lady, it’s akin to the woman I was next to once at the gym, and her “perfume” was actually quite malodorous B.O., to the point where I had to leave. I actually thought at first it was me, but thank god, it wasn’t.
March 30th, 2009 at 8:41 am
I would have spilled his coffee and watched him fall. Yes, I would have laughed.
March 31st, 2009 at 7:37 am
I’ve had that French Whore next to me at the gym too! Why is she everywhere? I yelled at her. She kept choosing the machine next to me. Daily. With her grandma perfume. So I yelled at her, told her she stunk. Rage much?
March 31st, 2009 at 9:21 am
i’m glad i don’t go to your gym.
ridiculous!
April 1st, 2009 at 4:27 pm
I started to laugh out loud at the barbie dolls in full face make up, shoes that have never been sweat in, and the cutest little outfits I have ever seen that only come to chat.. Umm yeah.
April 1st, 2009 at 8:39 pm
With my luck I would have tripped and spilled the coffee all over myself getting 3rd degree burns. If you are not going to drink water then at least drink alcohol while working out.