Stupidity to the Tenth Power
Posted by Deutlich on February 22nd, 2009 | Filed under: UncategorizedDear Deutlich,
I need to have a word with you. In your 27th year of life, I would imagine that you’d have some kind of inclination as to what happens when you venture into Drunksville. While the initial rush is all fun and games, eventually you’ll turn the corner into Idiot Town. And the next day? Puke City.
You’ve tested this theory time and again. Your hypothesis that Deutlich + alcohol = BAD IDEA is always proven to be true.
Always.
Yet you can’t seem to keep yourself from trying it out just one more time.
Last Friday your participation in alcoholic festivities with fellow DC Bloggers began innocently enough. I mean, you wore your cleavage (as promised on Twitter) with the short brown dress and funtastic heels.
Normally I’d be all about this. Except on this particular night, it was -20 degrees and somebody decided it best we all congregate on the outside patio where the wind was whipping and the heat lamp barely kept you warm.
I call this stupidity to the tenth power.
It also didn’t take too long for you to discuss inappropriate things like giving oral (or lack thereof), muff diving and the like. While this is normal behavior for you even when sober, mayhaps you shouldn’t have kept YELLING LOUDLY about it and interrupting other people’s conversations? You even had the audacity to ask What’s His Face if he’d like to stick his penis in you. While he did nod in assertion, the lovely lady blogger who was forced to witness this particular exchange ran for the hills.
RAN.
So.
In conclusion, please refrain from drinking. If none of the above is enough to remind you that the consumption of spirits leads to nothing positive, try to remember the full day of nausea in which you expel more than you ingest.
K? Thanks.
With Love,
Your Conscience
PS: I forgive you for the champagne you had on Sunday. It doesn’t really count anyway.
February 22nd, 2009 at 7:06 pm
The lady blogger ran because she didn’t want to talk about those kind of topics–which, while her prerogative, who cares? I don’t think anyone else was bothered by it and most of them were talking about the same kind of stuff.
Although I completely understand that you don’t want to drink anymore if you got sick…yucky. That’s never fun.
I had a blast… other than the whole freezing my ass off thing.
Yeah… I’m gonna have to tone it down on the alcohol. For real.
February 22nd, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Of course champagne doesn’t count! Everybody knows it’s as good as water
ha! yes!
February 22nd, 2009 at 7:58 pm
27 is the new 18… don’t beat yourself up over it too much. XO
Will try.
February 22nd, 2009 at 8:16 pm
you have to drink at the meet-up. who doesn’t love penis conversations?
I suppose this is true..
February 22nd, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Vomiting != good…..
The danger of drinking, the line between happy buzz and a unfortunate follow up day can be very fine indeed and of course has so many factors that influence it.
Unfortunately these promises, while good, somehow get softened way too quickly in the future, leading to yet more dances with that oh so dangerous point.
Nice meeting you, even though we were all cold (next time hopefully it will be warmer, or at least influence the crowd to congregate in a warmer place). Always a pleasure to meet a fellow Hokie!
Vomiting is NOT good. hahaha. not in any way.
February 22nd, 2009 at 8:43 pm
what?
discussing inappropriate topics is the funnest conversation to have . . . as long as it’s not it front of your parents
and me? I’ve been known to do that in front of the ‘rents… oops?
February 22nd, 2009 at 9:03 pm
What’s the fun in going out and NOT having inappropriate conversations ESPECIALLY after work?
Puking the next day is no fun though.
No. No it really isn’t.
February 22nd, 2009 at 9:06 pm
i look forward to such conversations with you.
and champagne on sundays does NOT count. esp in minnesota where you can’t buy booze on sundays. if you can’t purchase it, then what you acquired pre-Sunday doesn’t count.
i’m telling that to the bottle of champagne that died during the oscars tonight.
Yay for the Oscars!
February 22nd, 2009 at 9:38 pm
I’m on the same page as everyone else. Drinking and talking dirty can be appropriate during a blogger meetup.
Puking is NEVER appropriate though.
I hate being sick.
February 22nd, 2009 at 9:52 pm
I think it’s important to ask people if they’d like to stick their penis in you. It clears the air, you know. You lay your cards out on the table. There are no stupid questions, Deutlich.
It does clean the air. But maybe it was a little mean of me, as I have no intention in being promiscuous. I’m old school and prude at that. Go fig.
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:50 pm
you asked someone to stick their penis in you? Is this what happens in DC?
It’s a cornucopia of sex!! I’m booking my flight.
Yes. Yes I did. And I”m not sure if it’s a DC thing, but it is a Deutlich thing. I guess. Heh.
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:28 am
Seriously Ive had my fair share of stupidities happening when I’m drunk. Not good. Still, it’s like a habit I cant shake off. Will try to tone down in the future though.
Yeah… I fee like I’m regressing instead of progressing. Gonna have to work on that.
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:18 am
Yeah… I was pretty concerned that anyone not fastened to that heat lamp would have frozen solid. But somehow we lost track of you… you should’ve come to Ben’s. It was warm and they have chili cheeseburgers.
I seem to have lost track of a LOT of people that night. I would’ve loooved to go to Ben’s. Maybe next time?
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:01 am
Start double-fisting with water to cut the day-after sickness, but don’t cut down the fun-time conversations! When I get together with the local blogger folk, we get down to all kinds of inappopriate conversation. It’s the best kind of conversation! Don’t worry too much about it.
I TOTALLY started with a ton of water. I swear to goodness my body hates me. Hahaha
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:05 am
Ha! “Pardon me sir, but would you like to put your penis inside me?”
What I would have paid to see this all go down. I must say, you kept your composure pretty well. Had you use the word “dick,” then you would have been pushing it.
penis makes me giggle more
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:35 am
Oh Jesus. I haven’t had that feeling in months. About 7 to be exact. I hate that morning after cringe.
But listen, it’s never as bad as you think because everyone else was buzzed too.
They probably didn’t notice.
Let’s hope…
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:39 am
its easy to get caught up in the drinking moment….
oh. yes.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:42 am
I didn’t run – just needed a refill.
And I think what you said was, “Are you trying to get in my vagina?”
No no, I definitely said what I wrote up there. But your way makes me sound MUCH more eloquent. Let’s go with it. Why not, eh?
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:51 am
Girl, you were raw! I had a blast meeting you the other night. I do distinctly remember you telling Arjewtino and I that you had to start early so you function the next day. Strong work!
Unfortunately, there was NO functioning the next day.
Lame.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:53 am
I’m too scared to get really drunk. Family issues and all that.
That said, I did laugh out loud when I read about champagne not counting.
Yeah.. I was three sheets to the wind but I’ve never, eeeever gone to a point where I have blacked out or done anything *extremely* regretful for that exact reason.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:12 am
Ran?
Haha – that is awesome. Well, you know what I mean.
Well.. walked very swiftly. But you know what I mean.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:17 am
Oh, staying sober is way too overrated!
My liver begs to differ.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:32 am
I LOVE your eye makeup in the last post!!
Now that that’s out of the way: Yeah. I’m right there with you. It’s bad, but it feels so good!
It’s never worth the hangover, but at the same time, it is.
GodDAMNit!
xx
Well thanks dear! And gah.. Saturday was not worth the buzz.. I get SICK. I wish I didn’t. I’m a bad German.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:35 am
lol! Oh dear. When I really drink I get very goal oriented and usually end up in the back room of a bar trying find food in their fridge because I’m hungry & don’t want to wait and order.
It’s not good.
Man, I WISH I’d have the audacity to roll into an establishment’s fridge like that. hahaha
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:15 am
Wait, you’re *not* supposed to get shattered in front of other bloggers?
Damn, I’ve been doing it all wrong..
My liver tells me the same
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:38 am
I believe I missed this part of the night cuz I was too busy staring (and quite possibly grabbing at) Maxie’s cleavage.
And toning down the drinking at blogger events is damned near unacceptable. Sorry, lady!
I feel like I don’t even remember half the folks I met that night. It’s ridic.
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:45 am
I think I missed this part of the night!! My goodness. You were several drinks in when I left though. I had a sudden wave of tiredness around 11:30 and left (glad I did since I woke up with a miserable cold on Saturday).
I left around midnight. So I feel you.
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:59 am
#1: please teach me the bolded comment response trick. PLEASE.
#2: who’s this chick that walked off cause she has tender ears? we have no use for tender ears. we is grownups? grownups is have sex? maybe grownups can talk about sex? whatever.
#3: as long as you fall off the wagon again by June, do whatever you please, love.
Hope you’re feeling better now.
1) go to comments, press edit, write your response and bold it.
2) I <3 you. I had brunch w/her Sunday, things are cool, I’m told.
3) Uh…we’ll see…
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:41 am
Sounds like it was worth it, if your conscience has to have a talk with you two days later!
eh, I wrote this on Saturday – but I don’t like to post on weekends.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:03 am
Champagne is always forgiven.
As it should be.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:33 am
I’m not going to believe this happened until you show some pictures, my dear!
Lucky for me, I took not a single one.
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:11 pm
I promise I’ll speak loudly about penises when I come to the next happy hour…Now I wish I made it Friday…Sounds like you guys had a blast.
We’ll both speak loudly of penises.. as I just can’t resist..
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:31 pm
The champagne DEFINITELY didn’t count. The orange juice cancels it out, duh. It’s fruit = HEALTHY.
Yer right. Fruit does = healthy. And yay for that!
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Some lessons we never learn.
Every time that I somehow STILL manage to drink myself to the point of digestive pyrotechnics I can’t help but think, “I’m nearly 30 f***ing years old. Aren’t I too old for this??”
I swear, I just blogged about how I’m never drinking again, like, a month ago.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Oh Puke City and Drunksville. I’ve been there many times. I don’t mind puking only if I know it will make me feel better after and usually with drinking, that’s not the case.