Envy
Posted by Deutlich on January 30th, 2009 | Filed under: UncategorizedEver looked at someone and thought, “damn, I wanna be like them”?
I like to pretend that I never do. We’re all creatures of our own lives and we’ve all got free will. At the end of the day, we can do whatever the hell we want because that’s what defines being an adult.
Or so I’d like to think.
Corporate life, stigma and often times Hollywood “guide” us into believing we need to look one way or the other. But since I was knee high to a grasshopper, I have always had this incredibly tense envy of people who purposely pushed against the grain.
In the 80s, punks with mohawked pink hair and spiky chains scared the shit out of my parents. And me? I just stared in wide-eyed fanaticism.
I had no idea how people got their hair to look like that, nor how it could be manipulated into such unnatural shapes.
But I loved it.
And to this day when I see people with fun colored hair, covered in tattoos and or clothes styled in a way that will never come from a fashion magazine, I drool.
I drool a lot.
I become giddy in a way that is unbecoming of a 27 year old. But I just can’t help it.
I tried to go against the mold when I was younger, only to be shut down by my mother who’s ability to conform astounds me to this day. It often brings contention to our talks. I loathe normality. It’s boring.
So, these days I’m trying to capture what little bit of creativity I can muster while still maintaining an appearance acceptable at my office.
As soon as I find a hair stylist that knows how to deal with curly hair and can work with colors found in the rainbow, I plan on getting either purple or pink highlights. Maybe even both. Like I had in college.
My entire life can be defined as me attempting to move away from cookie cutter but not necessarily succeeding. I understand my mom’s inability to do anything other than conform. But it annoys the piss out of me anyway.
I just don’t want to be like that.
January 30th, 2009 at 5:34 am
You’ve never struck me as a person who conforms naturally. Go for it!
Aye, Aye Capitan
January 30th, 2009 at 6:11 am
Carpe diem!
Enjoy life!
Live!
Do what you like … as long as getting arrested isn’t the result of your actions.
I’m with you. I envy people who just let go, let it all hang out.
I wish I worked in the kind of environment that thrives on such creativity.. like a graphic design company or something.
January 30th, 2009 at 6:14 am
Amen. If I wanted to conform, I would not have gotten my tattoo in plain sight on my left wrist. I would have put it somewhere where I could have hidden it. It’s my little “stick it to the man, down with comformity” symbol. Nothing big, but something.
Enjoy the loud hair, when you get it done.
I want one on my wrist SO BADLY. But I’m afraid of the pain.
January 30th, 2009 at 6:24 am
Oh, man. I can relate to this in so many ways… First, the envy (and the not admitting it) – oh yes. Next, the mom-conformity. Oh yes, again! While I am hoping to graduate and move on to an area which won’t allow me to dye my hair in rainbow colors, I do understand the urge (for me, it was blue hair in college… though that rapidly faded to green, which was just ICK. So then I cut it off. And got an eyebrow piercing instead)
I LOVE blue. But I never tried it because of how it fades… not that pinks and purple’s don’t, but they often turn more orangy with a fade and for some reason I’m all right with that… Weird. I know.
January 30th, 2009 at 6:29 am
You know what I envy? Raver pants.
They look so comfy!
Are you serious?!
January 30th, 2009 at 6:44 am
I say go for it! Life is far too short not to have fun and do what you want to do (as long as it’s safe that is).
Oh, I’m going for it. I just need to find a damn good stylist.
January 30th, 2009 at 6:47 am
Go for it! I just wear whatever makes me happy. Conformist or not.
Though. I’ve always wanted a mohawk. Just…I like my hair. I saw once on Shear Genius (Bravo show) a girl with long hair whose hair was styled into a pink mohawk. I was so excited. I wish I could do that for just a day, but I am completely inept when it comes to my hair.
I will say though, guys with mohawks are HOT. I once saw a NYCPD cop with a mohawk and it took me a few seconds to stop drooling.
Yes. Yes and yes. Dudes with a ‘mo make me drool.
January 30th, 2009 at 6:51 am
I actually enjoy the whole looking-conventional-at-first-glance thing, and then surprising people with what’s underneath the surface, so to speak. It’s my own little, “you think you know, but you have no idea.”
Oh! And you were rocking the highlights at the ball…I’d love to see more color!
Meee tooooo.. I love, love, love color. A lot. And thank you!
January 30th, 2009 at 7:12 am
coool..purple and pink hair. I always wanna give myself a purple highlight but my mom cant shut up about it
I say just do it. Once it’s done, it’s done.
That’s how I went about getting my 1st tattoo when I was 18.
January 30th, 2009 at 7:13 am
next thing i know you are going to start following that teeney bopper crowd.
please don’t tattoo the jonas brothers on your butt. please.
A) I am a bit resentful that you think I’m a follower. :p
B) I already did the teeny bopper thing, like, a decade ago. I’m over it. I promise.
C) What in the flickity flack do the Jonas Brothers have to do with pink highlights?!
January 30th, 2009 at 7:17 am
I think I understand the contention of a parent who seems to worship conformity, it describes my mom.
And while I have no problem being strange, I wouldn’t be able to look in the mirror without laughing my tail off if I had pink and purple highlights.
Go for it.
I think that’s where the two of us are just entirely different. Ha. I LOVE colorful hair.
January 30th, 2009 at 7:23 am
I totally hear ya on this post. I often perceive people who are able to wriggle away from societal standards as “free spirits”, and it saddens me that I cannot do the same. I guess I wouldn’t call it envy – but there’s a definite longing.
That’s exactly how I see them. Completely free.
January 30th, 2009 at 7:26 am
Hell. Nah. I am 100% fabulous, I’d never wanna be anyone but me, ok on the inside.
But…..I wouldnt mind having jessica beil’s body. I wouldnt want to work at it, so id probably have it for like a week, because I’d eff it all up cus im sure she works out more than an hour a day. Too. much. exercise. owww.
It took me forever to get comfortable with the way I look. I have curves. And lots of them. And they look good. And that’s that.
January 30th, 2009 at 7:47 am
Love the new dot com! Anyways, I definitely think that corporate America and in a very small way my boyfriend are trying to stifle my individuality! I did the pink hair, the tongue ring, the tattoo, but I want more damnit. Sigh. I’ll just have to fight normalcy with my crass humor, habit of cussing like a sailor, and my brutally honest personality. Good luck.
I did the tongue ring too.. until it caused way too many men to be way too fucking disgusting. Creeped me right out.
January 30th, 2009 at 7:49 am
In high school I was the one who had the baggy Jnco jeans, the chains, and the Slipknot t-shirt. My wardrobe is different (I have to wear polo shirts and khakis for work, unfortunately), but I still like to shake things up a little. For example, I’ll go a few days without shaving, and about three months without cutting my hair. I often look like I’m going for the “Abbey Road” era John Lennon look.
Gotta do whatcha gotta do
January 30th, 2009 at 7:56 am
Being a man is hard enough. Its not easy putting your hand down your pants everyday. You should try that transformation.
Trust me.
I often wonder how your brain works.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:03 am
work ruins everything.
except paying the bills. work is good for that.
i’m fortunate enough to work at a place where i can wear whatever i want, piercings and all
WOrk is very, very good for paying bills. One day, when I’m all grownded up I will move to a company that is all about creative people. Like Charm City Cakes.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:30 am
Its kind of like Dexter. He conforms so people will think he’s normal.
Ok. I had to throw the Dexter reference out there for you. I’ve been wanting to for the past few days.
WHAT?! Dexter KILLS people! That’s like comparing dog shit to drinking water!
January 30th, 2009 at 8:53 am
I wish I could grow a fro. And I mean a huge fro like Questlove from the roots. I feel ya girl! At least I have good skin tone for blue and orange inks.
I wish those inks looked that good on me.. but nooooo
January 30th, 2009 at 9:00 am
I had a similar discussion with the crush last night. I struggled to find a balance between fitting in at the office and expressing my unique sense of style.
I finally said screw it and now I wipe my butt with what they think at work. I’m just me. I think at 26, I am just too young to conform to someone elses ideas of what I should be.
Precisely.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:31 am
Oh no. Don’t do it. Please.
Oh. I’m doing it.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Egg whites, Elmer’s Glue, Aqua Net, and never, ever washing your hair. At least, that’s how they did it in the 80s. These days they’ve got industrial strength hair products that my friend used to use to hold up her ‘hawk.
I used to wear purple and pink streaks in my bleached blonde hair. I called it “My Little Pony Hair,” and I loved it
Man, that probably looked all kinds of fantastic
January 30th, 2009 at 10:06 am
I admire the people who are just themselves and don’t worry about what others think of them. I envy those people and aspire to be like them everyday(in my own “individual” way if y’know what I mean).
I’m totally for the hair by the way! Go for it!
I definitely know what you mean. And thank you!
January 30th, 2009 at 10:31 am
I was going to tell you it involved Elmer’s glue but I saw that someone else beat me to it. I had a friend once who told me that the one thing humans had in common was that we all wanted to be different. She was saying stuff like that all the time when we were in highschool, while I was focused only on what color of Club Monaco shirt to wear. I wish I would have listened to her more. Anyway, so get your hair done exactly how you want it. Because it sounds like it will be fabulous and hopefully we will see some pictures!
January 30th, 2009 at 10:38 am
I’ve always wanted a tat- just a little one, but I’m afraid to get one because everyone says they’re addicting. I don’t do addictive well. Well actually, I do it really, REALLY well, but… you get the picture.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:15 am
i always wanted blue highlights when i was younger. never did it, but maybe one day i finally will
January 30th, 2009 at 11:26 am
This post made me miss the pink and purple hair I used to sport.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
I can definitely relate to the way you feel. It has always fascinated me to see people who are not only out there, but slightly afflicted or broken in some sense.
A part of me is thinking–being broken, being different–being so clearly out of the norm is so beautiful to me. By broken, I should explain that I mean people who may be perceived by others in that way–using broken is by no means indicative…it’s like using…”normal” to describe persons who conform to “the norm.’ Even though more often that not these type of people are fragile and they hurt.
But I like people with scars, I like people who have awkward tendencies, or a fidgety demeanor, a quirkiness that sets them apart…you know?
And of course the people bold enough to wear their hair a certain way or to dress a certain way regardless of what others might think. Those people are beautiful to me.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
I’m a big fan of fun colors as well. I’ll never do it myself (because I’m pretty sure that after all of the bleaching I’ll end up bald, and we can’t have that!), but I love it, love it, love it when I see other people who do.
January 30th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
a friend once told a story about how he went to Portland years ago and discovered that being part of the counter-culture scene, the anti-conformity scene, required strikingly similar characteristics. everyone had mohawks, everyone was (what they thought was) punk.
and so i guess all i mean is that from the little i’ve read around here, it seems like you actually break the line a lot. which is really, genuinely cool. and so maybe you don’t have to try to break away as hard as you think. because those Portland kids all ended up pushing away, really hard, in exactly the same direction.
but now that i’ve typed all that crap: you should def find a way to get your big, curly, pink and purple highlights into Charm City Cakes or onto that Ace of Cakes show.
January 30th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Do it, do it, do it! I’m all about breaking the norm (whatever that means to you) and absolutely being yourself no matter what, coming from a family who never would. I personally think too much though, so simply “being me” all the time involved way too much pondering and got heavy in a hurry. Now? I’m pondering less, jumping in with both feet more. It’s much more fun that way.
Oh and this? “That’s like comparing dog shit to drinking water!” Quite possibly my new favorite saying.
January 30th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Expressing your unique personality is always a good thing. I hope most people want to feel this way – different, special, unique!
January 31st, 2009 at 12:43 pm
BEAUTIFUL new design!! My goodness!
I think that some fun hair would be amazing on you. And apparently the way that punk hair stayed like that? Sugar & a bit of water make a super strong home made hairspray. It kind of freezes it.
I like working with theatre people, they know all kinds of wild things like that.
January 31st, 2009 at 4:15 pm
I love your new page. Very cool. I envy people who stand up for their beliefs, no matter the struggle or pain caused because of it. I’ve never been much for holding my ground when I should, and I’ve disappointed myself as a result. Those people who can smile, or shrug, or say ‘piss up a rope’ and still do it their own way…they are awesome.
January 31st, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I can relate to this so much, which is probably why I’m in a serious relationship with someone who is constantly pulling that sort of stuff. So I can *almost* feel like I’m living that lifestyle.
Oh man. I think you totally just gave me a light bulb moment.
January 31st, 2009 at 4:59 pm
P.S. What’s this I hear about you rooting for Arizona? HM?
January 31st, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Please let us know if you find a hairstylist who understands curly hair. I’m still trying to get mine to understand my hair looks longer when when and curls up when it dries. UGH.
January 31st, 2009 at 10:05 pm
When people finally “see” my tats they always act surprised like “Wow, I never saw you at a tattoo type”
Its my little way to be a rebel!
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:16 am
I’m with you on this one, but at the same time I have a love bipolar for the extraordinary; on one hand I want to get pierced and coloured until I look like I come from Harajuku, Japan. On the other hand I love all things elegant and beautifully simple.
So hard to combine the two…
February 2nd, 2009 at 5:55 am
Hey, if you’re looking for a curly hair stylist, I have the one for you! She does my hair, and not only is she herself awesome with loads of tatts and multi-color hair, but she is amazing with the shears! Drop me a line if you want her contact info…
February 4th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Pink and purple hair would be super fun!
I would just be afraid of the damage. I have bad split ends already.