My Solo Date
Posted by Deutlich on November 24th, 2008 | Filed under: UncategorizedEver since I walked away from an entire group of folks I called friends, I have a very tiny circle of people I still talk to. Locally, this circle consists of about 4 people (DMB, Metaltits, Michelle and Mike). Maxie and Kristina live further away but very obviously fall into this category as well. They’re the kind of friends I’m always comfortable around no matter what kind of day I’ve had.
There are a few others I’d hang with depending on the situation but this, too, is a small group.
The reason I had to walk away from about 30 others is due to the amount of drugs involved and the repercussions of them. PSA: Drugs are bad.
This means that I occasionally have to go out alone. I’m talking movies as well as restaurants. I personally don’t care. If I’m with myself, I don’t have to fake smalltalk, I don’t have to pretend to be interested in a topic I’m not and I’m definitely less likely to be annoyed at varying intervals.
Yet somehow, it can feel weird. I often wonder if others are staring at me and making up some kind of awful opinion. Then I remember I don’t really give a flying shit about what some stranger thinks. Then I remember I still feel the slightest bit of uncomfortable.
Why the hell is this? I couldn’t get a hold of anyone to go see Role Models and I needed to get out of the house. Afterward I just couldn’t resist a nicely cooked patty of cow flesh squished between tasty bread buns from Johnny Rockets.
What the heck is so wrong with that?
November 24th, 2008 at 9:33 am
There’s nothing wrong with going out alone, and I need to develop the guts to do it more. I have a very small social circle locally and sometimes I want to try a new resturant or something and there’s no one to go with. Maybe if we all start going out alone, people will get used to it and stop eyeing us like we’re freaks.
November 24th, 2008 at 9:38 am
You aren’t looking at the advantages – sure you always have to pay- but you KNOW you are getting some when you get home.
November 24th, 2008 at 9:40 am
There is NOTHING wrong with going out by yourself. I love going to movies alone because I don’t have to deal with anyone chatting in my ear or asking me questions while I’m trying to concentrate. It did take awhile for me to feel really comfortable doing it though, but you have to realize that no one is judging you as much as you think they are.
November 24th, 2008 at 9:43 am
I love going to the movies by myself although eating alone is always a bit odd feeling just because I do think you get looks from some people. I’ve gotten used to it at this point though and it doesn’t bother me anymore.
November 24th, 2008 at 9:46 am
There is nothing wrong with going out solo. Though I have not yet done the movie thing solo . . . there is something nice about going to grab a bite to eat or shopping or whatever alone. And I enjoy it for all the same reasons (and maybe some more) that you mentioned. I love taking a good book with me if it’s a meal other than dinner and just relaxing while I eat. And if I’m doing dinner solor, I prop myself in a great location and just people watch. It can be rather entertaining. Plus, mindless chatter is highly over-rated!
November 24th, 2008 at 9:47 am
There is nothing wrong with that! I have a really small group of friends so I go out alone too, mostly to the mall and the movies. I always think that the ticket person is wondering why I’m there alone and I also remind myself I couldn’t care less.
November 24th, 2008 at 9:52 am
I love it, every once in awhile. When people stare, I get uncomfortable too, but I just tell myself that they are in awe of my confidence and independence.
As long as I don’t have my skirt tucked into it’s waistband, this works really well………
November 24th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Nothing wrong with it at all. I go to lunch alone at least once a month and I enjoy the sweet silence of not having to talk. No one seems to stare – I usually have my ipod on and am listening to an audio book. I have also gone to the movies alone more than once. Once it starts you aren’t supposed to talk and you are sitting in the dark – alone or not doesn’t make much difference.
November 24th, 2008 at 10:34 am
Movie I could do, coffee shop too. Not sure I’d be comfortable on my own in a restaurant though. I’d probably rather just eat in.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:05 am
theres nothing wrong with it. What’s wrong, is sitting at home alone and missing out on things you want to do because you are worried what people will think. At least it doesn’t prohibit you from still enjoying life! Not many people can do that!
November 24th, 2008 at 11:07 am
aint nothing wrong with that!! sometimes i go downstairs to target to have lunch by myself at the starbucks/pizza hut dining area.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:10 am
I do this all the time. I enjoy being by myself much more than hanging out with people I barely like and indulging in mindless chatter.
I go shopping by myself, eat lunch/dinner, to the beach. I see nothing wrong with it.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:23 am
I, too, would rather be by myself than surrounded by people that I don’t feel I connect with anymore or make me feel uncomfortable. That said, I just don’t feel right, either, when I go out by myself. I’m fine eating alone someplace, but I feel like I’m being judged because I’m not with someone. It’s as if people are too scared to be by themselves and judge others who can be.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:31 am
I always shop alone and I love it! I don’t need to hear “Are you really gonna buy that?” in my ear over and over.
I have gotten food and stayed in my car alone to eat if I didn’t feel like hanging in the break room numerous times.
As far as movies go, I have been tempted to go alone, but the husband would throw a “bitch fit” if I dared go to a movie without him ‘cos he loves catching a flick just as much as me.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Absolutely nothing! I have yet to see a movie alone (but I really want to), but I’ve sat in bars by myself with my trusty CityPages or VitaMN newspapers, and I love it. I love the people-watching, taking my sweet ass time, and just having me-time. Come to think of it, I have AMC movie passes that I haven’t used yet… maybe instead of taking someone with me, I’ll go see TWO movies for free!
November 24th, 2008 at 11:56 am
I love solo dates. I mean I’m a social person (as you know) but sometimes it’s just fun to go somewhere alone.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:57 am
I used to go to the movies by myself all the time. I don’t as much anymore, but I think it’s only because I moved farther away from the theater. When I first started doing it, I would scan the crowd and find at least one other solo traveler, and then I would feel better. After a while, it actually became a bother to have to make plans with other people to meet up.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Reason #934875329 that you should live by Chicago. I’d be only a twitter away….feel free to bring Maxie with you when you move here
November 24th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Going to the movies alone isn’t really that abd once you’re there.
If it wasnt for going alone…I wouldn’t see any of the new movies.
November 24th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I’m an only child, so I appreciate my alone time. Growing up I had to learn how to amuse myself. So what’s wrong with it? Absolutely nothing — because you know what? Only people who are truly comfortable with themselves can pull it off successfully. Go you!
November 24th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
I love going out to my favorite cafe alone. These days, I think it’s a very common thing to be in a coffee place alone (unless you count laptops, iPods, newspapers or books as a +1).
November 24th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
I’ll tell you what’s wrong with that – Role Models looks like it’s terrible.
November 24th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
i’ll go see a movie and eat food with you!
sometimes i love eating alone, i have enough people around me all the time. gimmie some ME TIME.
November 24th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
i consider myself to be one of the most social people on the planet – my idea of hell would be to find out i was the only person there – but i still actually love going out by myself. movies, dinner, trips to europe (uh, i think i actually PREFER traveling by myself)… it’s all good. i do sometimes bring books to solo meals because i get bored just staring at my food, and then i don’t notice if people are staring at me in return.
November 24th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
not a damn thing!
November 24th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Nothing whatsoever!
Do you really need someone asking you what just happened and then what they missed because they were too busy asking you what happened (repeat until you get fed up and kick them down the stairs)?
I think not.
And did you have a milkshake? Tell me you had a milkshake.
If not, please go back and have one for me…because I can’t for about 6 months.
Thank you.
November 24th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
solo dates are perfectly awesome. i sort of love it sometimes.
November 24th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
There is absolutely nothing wrong with going out alone. More people should do it quite frankly.
November 24th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Hmm..
I don’t know you, and I haven’t read any blogs of you besides this one, but this sentence:
“Then I remember I don’t really give a flying shit about what some stranger thinks.”
Makes me think you do care about what some stranger thinks..
But I envy your guts to go out, I wouldn’t do it.
November 24th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Nothing wrong at all. I go out alone a lot. Most of my friends are far away. Why should I sit home just because there’s no one to go out with? Why should you? No reason, that’s why. So go! And keep on not giving a flying fart what anyone else thinks!
November 24th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
gurl please… i get away and do shit by myself at home! like this weekend, i had pie for breakfast (which i made from SCRATCH, crust included), and then locked myself in the bedroom and watched 27 dresses, bounce, and becoming jane. it was awesome! and sometimes you’ll actually find that you DESERVE those days, and trust me… those days will become a luxury some day in your future. so, enjoy the solitude and the smell of fresh cow flesh hot off the grill…
November 24th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
you go girl.. its a powerful thing to be able to be by yourself and be proud of it…
November 25th, 2008 at 6:07 am
Choosing to do something (with or without company) to make your own day better is constructive and something you should be reasonably proud of. Cheers to you for not letting lack-of-company stop you!
November 25th, 2008 at 10:05 am
Nothing wrong with that. Besides, if people are staring, it is entirely possible that they are looking at your boobs. (It’s why almost never wear low-cut shirts.)
November 25th, 2008 at 10:24 am
Good for you for bring able to go out alone! I still can’t do it, but I’m working on it.
Also, I feel your pain with the whole losing friends to drugs thing. Ugh.
November 25th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
I applaud you for being able to do that on your own, i still haven’t mustered up the courage yet. It is on my list of things I want–no, need–to do while I’m single.
November 26th, 2008 at 2:24 am
I am always surprised at how uncomfortable people are with going to things solo. Although I would often rather be with others, I’ll be damned if I am going to miss something i really want to do because no one is into joining me. And sometimes it is a little wonderful to be solo and nameless in a crowd of people, and just be able to wander a little carefree…
November 26th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Dude, I’ll hang out with you.
) I actually live closer to you now. Hm…that sounds way creepy.
November 28th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Absolutely nothing. In fact, I think I’m putting *both* of those on my “To Do” list for when I get back to NYC.
I go to the movies by myself more often than when I go with other people. No sharing the popcorn, it’s easier to get a good seat when you’re alone, and I don’t have to worry about whether or not my companion is loving/hating the movie as much as I am.