It’s been a solid three years since I’ve last visited the dentist and that’s probably a “light” estimate. The problem I have is my teeth are prone to cavities. I should have been going every six months because root canals are not exactly fun.

But here’s the thing.

Dentists scare the ever living shit out of me.

I’m the patient that needs the laughing gas BEFORE the numbing shot because the needle alone causes my heart to beat three times as fast as it should. I don’t like the old dentist I went to and I have no idea how to find a really, really good new one.

Under normal circumstances, I’d probably wait another three years to go but I’m pretty sure I have at least two new(er) cavities and I just realized my wisdom teeth are growing in.

And they’re crooked.

Fuck me with a stick! I am in no mood to deal with the dentist, his or her torture devices, or being told I need to floss more. 

Those sharp daggers are frightening! Just the thought of them scraping against my gums is giving me goose bumps. 

Meh. 

Why can’t I just magically make my teeth perfect? Stupid laws of physics. Who needs ‘em anyway?

I like to think that I’m always right. Actually, that’s a lie. I know I’m not always right, but I do feel very strongly about the things that make me tick.

World politics.

Proper health care.

The TWO wars we’re in.

Proper health care.

Women’s rights.

Proper health care.

Small business.

Proper health care…

I think you get the picture. For that matter, if you’ve been around my corner of the woods for a bit then you’re already aware of this without me outlining it.

What I’m really trying to get at is that the majority of my recent posts have been uber heavy. I’m not sure why or how, but it’s what I was feeling and wanted to express.

The problem is that when I start to get on my high horse, it snowballs. I still have all these opinions and beliefs and thoughts about everything from animal rights to oil drilling. Yet, I find myself inable to really discuss it. Either work’s been busy or I’ve been too exhausted or I just haven’t felt like “giving it my all.”

Then I start to think about the ego. Who am I, in the grand scheme of things, to say something one way or the other? 

Just another blogger.

I guess that’s why we all do what we do, huh? So we can have an even playing field upon which we spew all of our angsty thoughts.

I’ve seen a lot of things in my short time on this earth. Things ranging from a 7 year old child selling drug to the remnants of two smoldering buildings and a chunk of the pentagon, the last resting place of over 3,000 people. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I go through a rollercoaster of thoughts. They’re up, they’re down, they’re sideways and everywhere in between. Sometimes I want to share. Other times I’m just too exhausted by it all to bother.

Largely in part due to Barack Obama’s running for president, the lid has been blown wide open on discussing America’s race relations.

The problem that I am seeing is that it’s marred with mud flinging. The one side is wrong for this and the other side is right for that and at the end of the day, nothing gets resolved.

I attribute this “phenomenon” to the fact that we, as a whole, decidedly chose NOT to talk about race relations. After slavery was ended, laws were made to help black people succeed, and affirmitive action was firmly in place – I feel like most folks thought “that was enough.”

Well.

It wasn’t.

I’m not going to get into the politics of affirmitive action. I have my opinions on that situation based on a fairly level-headed and educated thought pattern. Maybe one day I’ll have enough energy to give my thoughts on that topic. It’s just not right now.

Slavery, while completely illegal [in the U.S.A.] today, was perfectly legal for over two-hundred years. Can you even imagine what two-hundred years feels like?

I doubt it.

And that’s not to knock anybody, that’s simply reminding us all of our age. Sure, we can multiply our number by ‘x’ and get 200, and even then I still don’t think we can properly wrap our minds around the figure. Maybe if we reach 100 years of age.. maybe.

Anyway.

While in Chicago, I drove Jenn (freeandflawed), Dan Mega, and Maxie (ihatesomuch) around while trying to figure out which pizza joint to go to. I’ll never, ever forget Dan’s tenacity and honesty in asking me about black race relations.

Dan has some cojones.

A) He was polite and inquisitive. And that? Is rare. I don’t know why but I almost feel like some people are just scared to ask.
B) It’s always better to inquire than assume.

The thing is this, white skinned people rode in on their high horses and damn near exterminated an entire race (the Native American). Their culture, beliefs and population was decimated in such a way that some of their languages are only spoken by one very, very old person in a specific tribe. If it wasn’t the massacring that did it, then illness surely helped.

During and after this period, black folks were traded by fellow black folks from Africa. You see where I’m going with this? Our own people (because, yes, I am black too) were so accustom to taking over lands, attempting to become King of said lands and being down right greedy that they enslaved those folks they captured and shipped their asses across the water.

For money.

Then these people were treated as poorly as the mud on your shoe. African enslaved men were used as nothing more than as workmen and breeders of more slaves.

If you want to figure out why there’s such a high rate of baby daddies in the black community, look no further. While I don’t care for using bullshit excuses from the past to explain things of the present, there really is some truth to this.

It has, literally, been engrained into the black man’s psyche that he is nothing. It is demoralizing and offensive. I’ll get back to this point in a minute.

The women-folk were treated just slightly “better” because they bore and fed the children. Those stupid jokes about black folks loving chicken? Yeah, those are also rooted in slavery. Back then, chicken were pretty much the only livestock an enslaved African was allowed to keep. Naturally, food just revolved around the chicken.

Then there were the “house-slaves.” In other words, white slave owners felt that their African slaves were sub-human and mistreated them at every turn they could, but they would turn around and rape them because apparently fucking them was all right.

Insert mixed babies.

Mixed babies that were “lighter” and “whiter” and therefore allowed to serve and live in the Master’s House.

Y’seein’ how and why black people, to this day, have issues with their own race? It’s not across the board, but it does happen more often than not. “Darkies” discriminating againgst “yellow-skinned” folks and vice versa.

Now, back to the black man.

Did you know that in every country on the planet (except for a handful, literally) they are at the most disadvantaged side of things?

Slavery was not unique to Northern America. It occured in Africa, South America and countless other areas. I have yet to pinpoint why the black male has it the hardest, but I believe it has to do with the age-old thought process of men being the more aggressive of the two genders.

Now, I don’t condone the griping and complaining that many young black males participate in today. Frankly, they have it the easier than any of their predicessors.

Even so, I do understand where they’re coming from. When slavery and segretation was finally ended, many cities and states continued their racist ways under the table. For safety reasons, black folks moved into communities with other black folks. And then, as a community, they were obviously disgriminated against. The “luxuries” that their white counterparts got to enjoy were not exactly trickling down their way – and by “luxuries” I mean housing that was safely maintained and with proper drinking water.

Over the years, these same black-only communities deteriorated and what grew out of those situations was an influx of in-fighting.

Hello, black-on-black crime.

Not only that, but during the 60s and 70s when the drug craze was strong and legal, many of the “hippie-era” moved to such neighborhoods because they were cheap and affordable. Of course, this came just as those black communities began doing better for themselves.. but the drug trade is alluring.

It does not matter what skin color you are, if you can’t feed your baby and all of a sudden there’s an “easy fix” to paying the bills, you’d probably jump all over it.

When the hippies left, the communities were left in such a disarray that they have yet to fully recover.

Again, I don’t care for excuses. There are plenty of people who’ve lived through the most dispicable of circumstances that still make it through.

But I do understand.

And frankly, if we don’t start talking about this more so that all sides can understand one another, the issue will never go away.

Not ever.

I get it. McCain picked a former beauty pageant contestant for his running mate. She’s pleasing to the eye and blah blah blah.

Yes, her 17 year old daughter is pregnant. Yes, she’s also been photographed with alcohol in her hands on at least three separate occasions.

But seriously? If this is the bullshit we’re going to focus on regarding the VP, then I don’t want to have a damn thing to do with it.

I don’t like Palin as the VP because she has absolutely no international experience. NONE.

I don’t like Palin because she’s an even lesser “known” than Obama — and I’ve known of him for three years. For what it’s worth, I didn’t know much about McCain prior to the 2000 election. Nor did I really know who Kerry was, prior to the 2004 election – both of which I voted for in those respective times.

I don’t like Palin because it feels too rushed. Because it feels like McCain made a hob-nob decision to try and catch people off guard. Just to look cool.

I don’t want a damn president who does some shit just to “look cool,” okay?

Nor do I want a president who is so old that he very well may have a severe medical issue whilst president, leaving the seat open to Sarah Palin.

I get it, her daughter has fucked up a bit. But if you pretend that she’s the only 17 year old in the entire world who’s ever been in those shoes, than you are sadly mistaken.

I am sick and fucking tired of American politics leaning towards personal bullshit. Clinton gets his dick sucked and all of a sudden he’s impeached?

The Bush administration used lies and coercion to royally fuck up our money, kill innocent people in a foreign country, screwed up our status and our “playing field” in the world and everyone smiles and nods.

Now Palin’s skeletons are being aired as if they have a goddamn thing to do with her political stance.

And that? That’s the shit we really need to be paying attention to.

I don’t like her politics and I don’t like McCain’s current politics either.

At all.

Please, for the love of all things crispy – register to vote if you are eligible and go out there and do it. Being that I am black AND a woman, there was a time in which I would not be able to do so. People died for me to be able to vote today.

DIED.

For ME and YOU and YOU and YOU too.

So.

Stop being apathetic, Google the candidate’s platforms, register to vote and make your voice be heard – regardless of whom it is you choose. It sickens me to the core how lazy Americans are when there are still people in a large chunk of the world who are not allowed to vote at all.

People who have no say.

Just do yourself a favor and choose based on the politics and stuff that really matters, not the superficial bullshit.