Nein Henry! Nein!!
Posted by Deutlich on June 18th, 2008 | Filed under: UncategorizedThe furrball, otherwise known as Henry, likes to stick his claws into things. The carpet, the couch, the wicker cabinet, the stair rail, the doors, the blinds and occasionally someone’s flesh (albeit, only playfully).
Obviously, this is unacceptable behavior. My mother does not appreciate little Henry’s antics.
Not one bit. And yes, for all the newbs, I happen to live with my moms. It’s a long story.
In response to the cat’s clawing she likes to yell at him in German – a lot.
“Nein Henry! Nein!!”
“Also! Was machst du denn?! Hör auf!”
“Henry! Bitte!”
“NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!”
It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what any of that means, just pretend your listening to your mother scream loudly in angry German.
See? It works.
I often wonder what the cat thinks when this happens. Y’see, cats seem quite a bit more coniving than their canine counterparts. Don’t get me wrong, doggies can be all kinds of tricky. They’re definitely able to get trained to do a whole hell of a lot of smart things too… but cats? They’re just different. They have that “look” that says, “Who the fuck are you talking to in that baby voice? Don’t you know I will scratch the shit out of you and then flop over and purr so you can rub my belly? You betta recognize, bitch!”
As it stands, I find it amusing to watch this entire exchange between my mom and the cat. He likes to give her this dopey look and flick his tail around.
Then I think, “what about those times we’re away at work?”
That’s only 7 hours of every weekday, you know. I put money on it that he’s running around sticking those sharp daggers of his in every thing he can find and reveling in the fact that no one’s there to catch him.
By the time we get home he’s already had such a good time doing it that even if he is scolded, it’s like water off a duck’s back.
Ahh.. cats.
Slick little fuckers.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:31 am
Thats funny… I can almost picture it.. Also the old man you work with.. I too have an liking for old people, actually my new office has a bunch of old people that so far are pretty cool…No gas situations so far.
But then again its only been a week 1/2,
Oh but there was this one old man at my restaurant job who I was walking behind that BUSTED the loudest fart ever and did not know I was there, did not even turn around.. and then he walked away fanning behind his ass.
I can not wait to get old..LMAO
June 19th, 2008 at 3:49 am
My friend yells at her puppy in Korean and the puppy never listens and I just laugh. Like, duh, dogs don’t speak Korean.
June 19th, 2008 at 6:50 am
I used to work in a cat shelter in Rome, and one woman there was always yelling “basta! basta!” to the cats. Sometimes I say that to my cat at home, just to be silly. I know he’s gonna do whatever pleases him!
June 19th, 2008 at 7:10 am
My mom used to yell those exact phrases to ME in angry german! and I’m not a cat….
June 19th, 2008 at 7:24 am
My german dog at least pretends to feel bad when he’s being shitty. On the other hand, I let my german friend scream at him in a foreign language so I suppose I deserve whatever he can dish out.
June 19th, 2008 at 8:05 am
I think that yelling in German makes you sound that much angrier – may have to try it with my puppy (even though I don’t speak German – will just have to pick up a few useful phrases) who has become rather sneaky lately… Nein, Mooji, NEIN!!! See? So much better than the lame english “NO”
June 19th, 2008 at 8:07 am
haha you should get him de-clawed while the owner is away. LOL
June 19th, 2008 at 8:10 am
I always wonder what my cats do when I’m not home but I think I’ve narrowed it down to sleeping b/c they are always wide awake and annoying as fuck when I get home and throughout the night.
June 19th, 2008 at 8:32 am
I’ve been spending lots of time with my cats. One of them sleeps and hides perpetually. He’s like a stoner. The other alternates between wanting to play (rough) and napping. And the last usually waits for me to get her ball so we can play fetch.
Yes. She’s a cat, but she plays fetch. Awesome. SCB – Secret Cat Behavior?
June 19th, 2008 at 8:39 am
Haha when I was little my mum always told my sister and I off in German when they had company because then they wouldn’t know we were being told off and my sister and I were still told!
June 19th, 2008 at 8:58 am
hahahaha this post made me laugh–something I definitely needed this morning! We have a cat that goes on holidays around the neighborhood when we leave her alone. She unfortunately doesn’t know how to time her holidays very well and will arrive 2 days after we get home. Hence how we know she takes little holidays. They are sneaky little bastards.
June 19th, 2008 at 9:31 am
I had to send my cat into retirement at my parent’s house. The BF is deathly allergic and starts doing this weird mouth/noise thing. (It’s like he’s itching his throat.) Anyway, my mom talks to the cat like he’s a human. But, the weird thing is, is that the crazy cat listens to her! Maybe it’s coincidence but it’s a pretty good percentage of the time. That cat comes when she says. So weird. Maybe it’s a mom thing.
June 19th, 2008 at 10:30 am
LOL, this post made me laugh a lot. Cats are like the ninjas of the animal world.
June 19th, 2008 at 10:30 am
I’m pretty sure cats understand everything, German or not.
I’m also pretty sure that cats plot on you when you’re not home.
I’m not so sure I trust those crafty animals.
June 19th, 2008 at 11:03 am
I do wonder what the animals are up to when I’m at work. I think they might save all the really good antics for nighttime right when I’m trying to fall asleep.
June 19th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Haha. The yelling in German reminded me of my family.
June 19th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Your cat has a potty mouth
June 19th, 2008 at 11:44 am
my stupid kitten has torn apart a TON of stuff in my house, except it’s just out of.. like.. exuberance, not even active clawing. it just happens that while she’s tearing across a room sideways and needs to scale the couch at top speed to accomplish this, sometimes the paper lampshade of my floor lamp gets in the way. siiigh.
June 19th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I think you have just outlined why pets are such wonderful companions. Watching them and knowing that they have such fascinating personalities.
June 19th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I think you have just outlined why pets are such wonderful companions. Watching them and knowing that they have such fascinating personalities.
June 19th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
They are some sneaky bastards! My friends cat used to always attack me when she left the room and as soon as my friend got back her cat would be all good and shit! Cute as a button, but I hated that little bastard.
June 19th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Why do cats always run away then when people go up to them?
That doesn’t seem very friendly.
Garfield would be pissed.
June 19th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Eghads! Hearing my mother yell in English is scary enough.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Cats definitely are sneaky. Their personalities are very different than a dogs. Cats want to do things on their own terms. If you try to call one over for a belly rub, it will continue to sit across the room looking at you like, “You MUST be kidding me!”
The minute you walk away, there he/she is rubbing up against your leg and rolling around on the floor in front of you, exposing their belly for some rubbage.
Damn cats.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
cute post! my parents have a cat and I definitely know that “look” you were referring to. However, he’s declawed and I just give him that look right back. ha!
June 19th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
he probably has parties with other cats and clears them all out before you guys get home. cats are pretty crazy like that i’ve heard
June 19th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
I can totally picture this happening! Nein=No?
June 19th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I my head cats have a French accent for some reason! I’m weird
June 19th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
There is mass destruction happening, no doubt about it.
June 19th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
I can appreciate cats.
I frequently give people attitude and then rub up against their legs.
June 19th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
I think German tends to sound a little angry anyway, so I’m sure it’s hilarious! Well, not the cat destruction part, but the mom yelling in German part
June 19th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
My friend’s mom is German and one of my favorite things is to hear her fuss at us in German. It’s a rather scary language when they’re yelling at you. Ha.
June 19th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Ha ha, love your portayal of a cat’s true identity – I’ll never look at one the same way again . . .
June 19th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Gotta get his nails clipped lol. The thing about cats is they let YOU live with THEM. They run shit lol. My cat is the same way and he’s 12 years old.
June 19th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
lol
i bet mom dont
and gherman is a angry sounding lang any way
anywho
chk out what I call the blinded by the Obamafication of America
June 19th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
When I had a cat, it was such a snob that it would seriously alter my mood. I gave it to my parents.
June 19th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Yep, totally… now you know why I have dogs!
June 20th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
I love that she yells at him in German. Hilarious. I’ll have to try that with my friend’s cat.
June 21st, 2008 at 6:44 am
My new goal for the year is to get my mom to yell at me in German. Creative ideas about how to accomplish this are appreciated.
June 22nd, 2008 at 9:46 am
They really are cheeky buggers. I reckon our cat just doesn’t understand ‘Australian’. It’s either that, or he’s got selective hearing!