When Blogs & Real Life Collide
Posted by Deutlich on May 29th, 2008 | Filed under: UncategorizedNow, I know I mentioned I was going on a date last night but what I didn’t explain was how we met. As abnormally cheezy and cliché as it may sound, it was through blogging. Actually, it was through the blogosphere, then twitter and finally facebook.
I won’t mention him by name. I won’t tell you which blog he has.
I think that’s my way of keeping the personal life as private as possible, considering I’m quick to talk about any and everything.
For that matter, we had a brief discussion about it because the both of us are pretty damn honest in our blog posts and tend to write about what’s going on in our real lives. If something goes on that I would normally write about, then I will continue to do so.
What I’ll refrain from doing, however, is discussing something important to you all in Blogland before I’ve given him the respect to tell him to his face.
Otherwise? There will be no holds barred.
There are a few folks in Blog-land who have recently gone through some tumultuous times with people who read their posts and somehow their blogs veered into this odd “no-man’s land.”
It’s gotten me to sort of ponder the whole idea of venting in a blog prior to talking it out with whomever the situation involved.
Granted, some situations were different. It’s a bit difficult to typecast any of the specific events as everyone has had such varying circumstances to deal with.
I think what I’m trying to get at is this: I’ll blog what I want to blog and when I want to blog it. But I don’t exactly agree with venting to the blogosphere if I can’t grow the balls to tell someone I’m having an issue with first.
I mean, a LOT of my friends read my blog and you won’t see me dissing them, or explaining how much something has upset me without talking to them first.
It just seems so childish? Because… if I know they’re reading this and I blog about it anyway without having given them the respect to talk about it first, am I not inviting drama?
On the other hand, this is my piece of the internets and I will use it as I see fit.
…I obviously enjoy contradicting myself. Sort’ve.
May 29th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
but see, i want to know who it is!!! because i’m nosy
but hear ya lady – it’s your blog, say what you want!
May 29th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
You should write what you want to write. Period.
I dont blog about anything too personal myself…but you said it best “We’re All Big Fat Hypocrites.”
May 29th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Hope the date went well. I’ve had some issues with this recently because as much as I wanted to blog about my weekend with my friend. I wouldn’t want her to read it and feel bad. And the things that irked me about her visit aren’t issues worth discussing, rather things that would just hurt her feelings. Even worse, I think she would feel bad that I put her out there. Dilemmas.
May 29th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Hope the date went well
I think you should continue writing what you want, but it’s smart to talk to someone first before broadcasting your issues here in the blogosphere for them to find.
May 29th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
how did the date go? can we get a few details?
I totally understand what you’re saying. I’m working on this whole issue of trying not to censor and yet also keep some of my personal life private, etc. Technology certainly can complicate things…
May 29th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
I know what you mean. There’s a difference between being honest on your blog and using it as a passive aggressive tool to avoid any normal face-to-face confrontation.
And like everyone else, I’m curious, but I’ll be good, haha.
May 29th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I don’t think you’re being contradictory! Writing non-fiction can be tricky, especially when the whole world can see it.
May 29th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Ashley – will do!
Matt – damn right we are
Passionista – It did! And I totally understand that predicament.
Freeandflawed – Agreed. Wholeheartedly.
Theglitterkid – Haha.. it went well. No complaints. And technology really CAN complicate things.
What Liz Said – Exactly!! It’s that passive agressive thing I don’t dig.. it’s so.. trite.. and high-school-esque.
Casual Perfectionist – It really can be tricky. Blech.
May 29th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Amen to that!! othewise it’s just inviting trouble, eh?
May 29th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I too am braving the uncertain waters of blog-friendship turned real-life-romance. I’m afraid my blogging has changed a bit, but I’m working on it. Somethings I just want to keep to myself though, you know?
May 29th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
I like happy beginnings.
May 29th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Oh, and wouldn’t it be funny if all the girls in blogland who were dating unnamed blogland boys were all dating the same one?
hehe.. just a scary thought that crossed my mind.
May 29th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
You should blog about what constitutes a good kisser. Because that would be… umm… pertinent.
May 29th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
i hear you.
but, still wondering- how was the date?!
May 29th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Hope it went well! Hopefully we can chat later.
May 29th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
if I know they’re reading this and I blog about it anyway without having given them the respect to talk about it first, am I not inviting drama?
EXACTLY. Yes.
May 29th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
yay for dates, haha.
and yeah i’m sort of torn between the venting and dissing that people do on their blogs. like i get it, i would vent too. but like you said, why not confront the person before writing about them. i think it gets a bit tricky in there. oh well.
May 29th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
I know precisely what you mean. But I think everyone knows when they cross the line of “just being honest” into “being a kid instead of an adult” about things. Those who pretend they don’t know the difference are lying to themselves.
May 29th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
blog love?!?! i like : )
and i would never “break news” concerning anyone i know in real life via my blog. not cool.
May 29th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
I’m soooo nosy!!
It’s gotta be interesting going on a first date with someone who already knows you so well.
No one reads IRL reads my blog except my guy, which helps with this issue. But that means any disagreements are obviously offside to write about.
May 29th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Well considering this blog is called speak on it, it would be hard to not actually speak on it.
If you didn’t blog about what you wanted you should call it..
The Kind of Talk About Stuff Blog, Sometimes….Maybe.
May 29th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
That’s why I’m completely anonymous…I can bitch and moan as much (or as little) as I want.
And I don’t think it’s either cheesy or cliche that you met through blogging – I actually think that’s really cool.
May 29th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Whoa! Seriously?
What’s with all the blog love in the blogosphere??
May 29th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
amen about the venting on the blog!
also, i take it the date went well? huh? huh?
May 29th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
hmmm… interesting.
it’s cool that due to the sensitivity of the situation you’ll talk to him first about any issue before a broadcast. and since he’s a fellow blogger i’m sure he’ll do the same for you… blogging etiquette… it’s a new and weird thing.
oh, and like everyone else asked, “how’d the date go?”
May 29th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
I hope the date went well. Yay blog love. Swoon.
May 29th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Technodoll – It really IS.
Maiden – Absolutely.
Prin – Aw, thanks
Me too!
Prin x2 – Dude, that? Would be all kinds of creepy.. hahaha
Jack – HA!
Brookem – Not bad. Not bad at all. Apparently, I refuse to divulge any more than that. LOL.
1218 – Thanks, doll!!
Sequined – Glad we’re in agreeance.
Katelin – Precisely. I certainly understand using the blog as a venting post.. but, again, if he/she reads the blog and you’re bitching about them w/out having the cajones to SPEAK to them first?? That’s like.. gossiping in High School. And it’s gross.
What Liz Said – Agreed. Wholeheartedly.
Alexa – I <3 you, but let’s refrain from using the L word so prematurely.. k? Thanks.
Princess P – HA! Yes, it was.. it’s weird territory, too.. because it’s hard to gauge how well someone in such a situation “knows” me.. because.. yeah, I blog.. but that’s still kinda 1-sided?
RS27 – HA! Exaaactly. I’ll still be balancing that tight rope, though.. No need to cause unnecessary drama.
Carrie – Yeah.. I’ve never been completely anonymous.. but that’s ok. I’m all right with it.
So@24 – What’s with using the L word so quickly?! I don’t get it. It was a first date! lol
McGee – Yes. It did.
Mental360 – You? Are a dork.
Meghan – Thanks! But, again.. NO L-WORDS. It is waaaaaaaaaaaaay too early for that. Like. Waaaaaaaaaaaay.
May 29th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
WEehooo a real date…
Yeah my blog was private for a while and then I told some close friends about it.
I too am a pretty open book, my hubby likes to point out my spelling mistakes all the time..
Its my blog and I do not have to spell check if I do not want to!!! lol
I can not wait to hear about the date
May 30th, 2008 at 12:40 am
I are serious. Blog about smoochies. Do it!
Also, more for myself than anyone else in the audience, I’m curious as to when it IS time to use the L word. What’s the earliest you could possibly say it and mean it? What level of emotion do you need to be at? What sort of commitment flows from there?
May 30th, 2008 at 8:33 am
Random – I am soooo not getting into details, LOL.
Jack – Uhm. No. LOL. Seriously? Not going there. Re: the L-word… well… that’s sort’ve a personal discovery. It’s like Mraz says, “it takes no time to fall in love, but it takes you years to know what love is.” Everybody’s situation is different. There’s no way to say one way or the other that it takes 3 months, 2 days or 1 year. Love comes in varying degrees anyway.. Good luck trying to figure all of that out hon. As for commitment level? That TOTALLY depends on BOTH of you. It could crash and burn after that if she’s not feeling the same, and then the commitment level drops to zero. Tread lightly.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:48 am
Was it me?
May 31st, 2008 at 4:01 pm
daaaamn!! i really wish i knew who it was!!
that way we could read the whole dating scene from both sides. i think its actually a good thing – you know what hes thinking, he knows what youre thinking, everyone is on the same page. thats how every relationship should start out!!!
June 1st, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Yes. Yes and yes.
I’m so curious as to who this is!
June 2nd, 2008 at 8:44 am
ooo share your secrets!
so glad you had fun, i know i’ve been MIA lately – we need to catch up!
June 2nd, 2008 at 7:24 pm
I am one of those fools that let my blog veer into No-man’s land!
But I’m bringing it back with a vengeance!
And I want to know more about this date! (So hard to write a blog that he reads and play coy at the same time)
June 3rd, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I TOTALLY agree with you on the whole talk to your friend first before blogging something bitchy. I mean, my friends are amazing and don’t happen to take themselves too seriously, so I’m sure it wouldn’t be that big a deal, but really, who wants to burn bridges because of a little, tiny page on the Internet that the world reads. Ridiculous.
That said, you are like the sixth person I have heard of meeting someone thru your blog! I need to get me a blog bf!
June 6th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I love being able to write about myself and other situations through my blog but at the same time I have to say that discretion is the best thing and confronting people in person is even better. I think that the internet is an okay place to vent, but reality is better to solve problems.
Lovin the blog, chica!